The Chronicles of Lemmy & Jimmi - Episode 1: The New Office
In the animal kingdom, there are two highly experienced and classy guinea pigs ensuring that all animals are well represented in their legal affairs. These are their stories.
Today saw Jimmi and me move into our new office. Thank you Munro Legal for renting some space to us.
While Jimmi was on the phone with Alpaca Phone Company about why our internet wasn’t connected yet, I was busy setting up. Unfortunately, I was not allowed to assist in putting the furniture together. Jimmi has banned me from using any tools, though that didn’t stop me from using the hammer. Needless to say, Jimmi now has a hole in his wall divider.
We would like to thank Rent-a-Cat and Hardware, for assisting us with putting together our furniture.
After much arguing on who was sitting where and what decor would be in the office, we finally managed to come to some agreement. Agree to disagree. Jimmi now has his own space that he has decorated to his liking, and I have my own fully operational office. Though, Jimmi isn’t at all happy with the hole in the wall divider.
Our first client came in this afternoon. Basil the Nutty Fox. He has been charged, for the 8th time, with numerous offences including possession of an illegal substance - Chicknut.
While the ingredients contained in Chicknut are harmless, together, they create a nightmare of hallucinations and sodded underwear.
Our client is adamant that he did not have in his possession any Chicknut. Despite the fact that it was his property that was raided and the Hound PD found not only the illegal substance throughout Basil’s living room, but Basil himself with a few pals sitting around the coffee table, staring into empty space.
The drug test results have not yet been released.
We advised our client to stay low for a while and not commit any further offences. Any further charges would hinder his cause to remain out of jail.
Our client is very enthusiastic about the Hound PD - “#$&! the police!” I believe, is the exact phrase our client used. Needless to say, we promptly advised our client not to say such things in public.
Later on that afternoon, just before knock off time, another new client came into our office. Jacinta Rabbit, a close relative of Peter Rabbit, has just broken up with her partner, Chopp Chopp. They have 10 kids together. Jacinta has a total of 25 children, with quadruplets on the way.
Chopp Chopp wants shared care of his children. Jacinta doesn’t want that because she doesn’t like him and never wants to see him again.
She also doesn’t have the money to instruct us privately (no surprise there), so we suggested that she apply for Legal Aid.
After what felt like eternity, we finally managed to end the consultation with Jacinta and closed the office for the day.
As we were leaving the office, Jimmi decided it would be a good opportunity to go have a drink at the local pub.
We never made it home.
To be continued….