The Chronicles of Lemmy & Jimmi - Episode 2: Hard Learnt Lessons
In the animal kingdom, there are two highly experienced and classy guinea pigs ensuring that all animals are well represented in their legal affairs. These are their stories.
In the last Episode, Lemmy & Jimmi were setting up their new office at Munro Legal. Basil the Nutty Fox had given them instructions in relation to his numerous criminal charges, while Jacinta the Rabbit had provided details on her family law matter. Lemmy & Jimmi ended their first day of work by going to the pub...
Lemmy and I had an eventful week. Our first day on the job resulted in 2 new clients - Basil the Nutty Fox and Jacinta Rabbit. The following day, after heading to the local pub for a couple of drinks, we woke up on the grass in the local park. How we managed to get there, I don't know.
We went to work disheveled and hungover. Note to self - don't ever drink like that on a week night. Lemmy almost got into an altercation with a bouncer at the local pub until I stepped in to calm the situation. The things I do for my brother.
Two days later, Jacinta Rabbit was arrested for kicking Chopp Chopp in the head when she saw him at McDonalds. Now she is facing a Common Assault charge. Lemmy explained to her that this cause of action could, in fact, reflect negatively on her keeping the kids. Jacinta denies this, saying it was his own fault. He caused her to attack him as he was death staring her. Another Legal Aid application was submitted and we strongly advised our client to keep to her bail conditions. The Hound PD are investigating the matter further and may upgrade the charge to Assault Occasioning Bodily Harm.
Later on that week, Basil the Nutty Fox was arrested again, this time for assaulting a Hound PD officer. He also set fire to the officer's hat. After obtaining instructions from Basil, who was locked up at the Watch House, I appeared in the Forest Magistrates' Court and adjourned the matter until next week. The Prosecutor for the Hound PD agreed that Basil was not a flight risk and the Magistrate granted bail. Basil is now, including the numerous charges from earlier, facing charges of Obstructing Police in the Line of Duty and Destruction of Property belonging to the Commissioner of Hound Police.
We got our first conveyancing matter on Friday. Jaxson the Jaguar is purchasing a multi-million dollar property down in the Valley of Charms. He didn't want to sign the Contract without getting legal advice first, something I wish more animals would do. Once a Contract is signed, you have little room to move if changes need to be made and it could ultimately end up costing you more in the long run, particularly if aspects of the Contract negatively affect you. Lemmy took initial instructions and began working on getting the handwritten Contract up to scratch.
At 4.45pm Friday afternoon, Poppy the Sugar Glider came in. She was highly emotional, stressing about how she was going to get to work at the local diner. She was charged with DUI after hitting a tree. No one was injured, just Poppy's pride.
She was at a party the night before and drank a little too much Nector de Pear. As she was heading home, she spaced out and hit a tree. Before she knew it, the Hound PD were there with breatiliser in paw. She was nearly 3 times over the legal limit.
This incident reminded Lemmy and I that we were lucky that we didn't try to drive home last Monday, as we both would have been over the limit.
I advised Poppy that she would need to find alternative arrangements to get to work for the time being, until her matter was in Court next week. She instructed us to apply for a work licence and vowed she was never drinking with her buddies again. If he had had a blood alcohol reading of 0.15 or above, her work licence application would not be heard by the Forest Magistrates' Court.
After Poppy left, we locked up the office and headed home. We learnt our lesson from last Monday night.
To be continued....